- Exercising caution when advising non-mahram women, so that the advice is not taken wrongly, and so that fitnah (temptation, trouble) is avoided. No young man should use the excuse of speaking to young women in order to correct their mistakes or teach them. How often has this led to disasters! When it comes to correcting women, a large role should be given to ahl al-hisbah (“religious police”) and older people who could help them in this regard. The person who is seeking to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil must act in accordance with what he thinks will be the outcome of his rebuking. If he thinks that it is likely to be of benefit, he should speak up, otherwise he should refrain from speaking to ignorant women who may make false accusations against him whilst still persisting in their wrongdoing. The state of the society at large and the status of the one who is seeking to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil play a fundamental role in the success of his efforts to rebuke, convey the message or establish evidence. The following story illustrates this:
The freed slave of Abu Raham, whose name was ‘Ubayd, reported that Abu Hurayrah met a woman who was wearing perfume, heading for the mosque. He said, “O female slave of al-Jabbaar (the Compeller), where are you going?” She said, “To the mosque.” He said, “And you have put on perfume for this?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying,
“If any woman puts on perfume and then goes out to the mosque, Allaah will not accept her prayers until she does ghusl.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no. 4002; see also Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 2/367).
According to Saheeh Ibn Khuzaymah: A woman passed by Abu Hurayrah and her perfume was overwhelming. He said to her,
“Where are you going, O female slave of al-Jabbaar?” She said, “To the mosque.” He said, “Are you wearing perfume?” She said, “Yes.” He said, ‘Go back and do ghusl, for I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying that Allaah does not accept the prayer of any woman who goes out to the mosque with overwhelming perfume, until she goes back and does ghusl.” (Saheeh Ibn Khuzaymah, no. 1682. In his footnote, al-Albaani said, it is a hasan hadeeth. See also al-Musnad, 2/246. Ahmad Shaakir classed it as saheeh with this isnaad in his footnote to al-Musnad, no. 7350)
- Not occupying oneself with putting the symptoms right whilst neglecting to deal with the cause of the mistake
- Not exaggerating about the mistake
- Not going to extremes to prove the mistake happened or trying to force an admission of guilt from the one who made the mistake
- Allowing enough time for correcting the mistake, especially in the case of one who has been accustomed to doing it for a long time, whilst still following up the matter and continuing to advise and correct
- Not making the one who makes the mistake feel like an enemy, because the aim is to win people over, not score points against them
Now we will move on to our discussion of the methods used by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when dealing with the mistakes of people, as recorded in the saheeh ahaadeeth narrated by the scholars.